Friday, 14 May 2010

Naughty Old People

So, I was walking through Sheffield city centre today on my way to Marks and Spencer for some sushi when I overheard a conversation between two old people. I say conversation but it was more of an argument. What I heard shocked me.

This ordinary couple, were probably in their late 70s and could have been anyone's grandparents. They didn't look like gravs (granny chavs) but their language was really colourful, they were effing and jeffing all over the place. Now I'm not a prude, but it does shock me when I hear old people swearing. I bet you wouldn't have heard a conversation like that 50 years ago as our language has become more explicit as the generations pass by.

Anyway it got me thinking about the yoof of today. Eventually we will all be old so I'm wondering what they'll be like when they're older. Will they be hoodie wearing oldsters reminiscing about the good old days of iPods and electric cars. I can just hear you now, talking to your grandchildren:

"When I was a kid we only had a 40" HD TV with 250 channels, now you've got 1 million channels beamed straight into your brain. Don't know you're born."

"Back in my day we had to drive to work and it took 30 minutes. Now you've got it so easy with your teleportation devices, you don't know the meaning of hard work."

I think in 50 years the yoof of tomorrow will probably rebel against us oldies and start using less swear words and dressing smart again. The yoof of tomorrow will be "suit-ies".

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Siggy's Adventure in London Village

So it's 7:41am and I'm sat on the London St Pancras train at Sheffield station. I'm in first class but don't let that impress you as it's just the same standard class but with a pillow and tea-cups. I've got my iPod plugged in so I can occupy myself playing Angry Birds.

This more of a mini diary than a blog as I'll keep updating it through the day with any thoughts. I'm guessing that I'll have more to say while I'm sat on the train.

7:47 just turned down a cup of tea or coffee. Why couldn't they offer me Coke?

7:55 first bout of reservation rage. There's always someone sat in the wrong seat. You'd think that first class passengers would be able to cope with reservations. Just shows that money doesn't equal class.

8:00 I knew this would happen: I need a poo. I don't really want to go on the train. I don't want to be that man stinks out the trap in first class. Someone will probably tweet about me. I'll see if I can wait until the Natural History Museum. They're used dealing with a load of old crap.

8:03. I really need an iPad. Typing on my iPod on a wobbly old train is a nightmare.

8:28. Maybe I shouldn't listen to SModcasts on the train. I'm smirking to myself all the time. Jason Mewes has just appeared and he's cracking me up. I'm also trying hard not to fucking swear whilst typing this, as those motherfuckers have proper fucking potty-mouths.

9:05. Just had some god-awful cake. I thought it was chocolate but it was Ginger cake. Who the fuck eats Ginger cake? And why does my iPod capitalise Ginger?

9:06. Why do some people have to have everything? It's like, I've paid for fucking first class I'm having it all! I'm playing it cool.

10:00. Just about to arrive in London village. I've got my camcorder and I was going to do some filming but I can't be arsed now. I don't like filming on my own in public as I feel too self conscious.

10:50. Arrived at the NHM. Had a right good cough and splutter so I'm feeling better now. 8/10 for toilets here. Quite good, I always take note of decent toilets. This is turning into Adrian Mole's diary. The tube journey was okay, there was a well fit girl opposite me on the tube. I imagined her to he Brazilian. I always get a sense of inferiority on the tube. I always feel that everyone has fantastically interesting jobs and live in posh flats. In reality they're probably working in Asda struggling to get by in a shoebox. Right, I'm going to have quick look around before dinner.

11:23. Got fed up in the NHM as there were loads of school parties. I'm in the V&A museum now. I'll stay here for 30 mins.

12:41. Do you know how hard it is to find a pie in London? It's fucking hard I can tell you. Maybe it's too posh round here for pies but I've just walked up and down Kings Road to find a pub for a drink and a pie. Nothing. Up North I reckon I'd have stumbled across one in under a minute.

Anyway, I had to settle for the West Cornwall Pasty Co. Probably the least Cornish of pasties I've ever had, served by an Italian (I think). I ate it with a knife and fork! I'd be run out of town if I ate a Cornish Pasty with a knife and fork oop north.

It was quite funny though, this posh woman came in quite amused and bemused as she didn't understand what a Cornish pasty was. Imagine that, what a sheltered life.

12:59. Just spotted this shoe shop, I'd like to think this wasn't deliberate:



13:03. Just bought a fancy chocolate eclair from the fancy little bakery Paul. At £2.40 this had better be good.







13:09. Wow, best eclair I've ever had but now I feel a bit sick. Need to go to the hospital now.

13:30. Appointment is at 14:00 but I've got to be there half an hour early for tests and shit.

13:35. Bit of confusion, I'm not booked in for an x-ray. I hope I'm not going to miss my train.

14:15. Had my x-ray, lung function test, Nitrous Oxide test and nasal brush biopsy. It's the second time I've had the biopsy and it's supposed to really make your eyes water. No tears from me 'cos I'm hard! Looking good now.

14:33. Nice but crazy fellow patient has just asked me if I had a problem with snoring. I do actually, but I said "No, do you?", "No" he replied. WTF, was that all about?

15:45. Seen the doctor, got a bit of a bollocking but there you go. I'm not sure if he might have recognised me from YouTube or the PCD website. I haven't seen someone who knew what they were talking about before. I'm feeling really confident about this and I should see some results. I'm going in for a 3 day assessment and shit. Not looking forward to it but it should be really good for me. Going to really sort me out, things are going to change.

Right off for a quick blood test then I'm off.

16:27. Arrived at St Pancras. Enough time to go to Yo! Sushi.

16:55. We're setting off, I've eaten my sushi. A damnsite better than the Yo! Sushi at Meadowhall. I might even be home in time to see Little Siggy before he goes to bed.

16:59. Why does the cover of Morrissey's Your Arsenal have to be so gay. I'm sure the girl next to me thinks I'm looking at gay porn.

18:46. Nearly back at Sheffield. I'm parked at work so hopefully they haven't locked the car park yet. Might have to make a trip to McD's on the way home.

19:35. Home again. Knackered!

-- Post From My iPod

Sunday, 25 April 2010

I am Millhouse

Siggy75
I have something in common with the Simpsons character Millhouse Van Houton: both our dads worked in cardboard box factories! I'm not saying I have a passion for cardboard boxes or anything but I do have a sense of corrugation running through my veins. Throughout my childhood it wasn't uncommon for my dad to comment on the quality and cost of a cardboard box, and I have also developed this habit.

A good cardboard box is hard to find.

I spent a few hours looking for cardboard boxes this weekend, not for fun but in preparation for moving. I thought Staples would be a good option, but £8 for one double walled box of medium size is far too steep. There is a great online box company called boxes2move and they have a good selection of boxes at good prices, but unfortunately delivery would be a problem. Argos had this pack of boxes but they didn't have any in stock, so we ended up going to a self storage place in Doncaster, Ready Steady Store. We went for this


The Ready Steady Value Pack
£ 43.99
  • Outer box size - 930L x 210W x 1030H mm
  • 5 x Small boxes - 355L x 255W x 355 H mm
  • 10 x Medium boxes - 405L x 405W x 405H mm
  • 3 x Large boxes - 455L x 455W x 550H mm
  • 2 x Rolls of tape - 48mm Wide x 66m Long













Pretty similar to Argos' offering but I think the boxes may be slightly better quality with printing on the outside. They are only single walled but it's pretty much the best we could get without ordering online.

So there you go, an exciting weekend for me. I'm actually looking forward to packing these boxes, you can't beat a nice shiny new box! I'm sure the environment will forgive me.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Sheffield's Answer to Banksy

Graffiti brings out a range of emotions in people, some people find it offensive, aggressive or even intimidating. Others think it beautiful; moments of social commentary and expression. You see a wide range of graffiti from the mindless scrawling on the back of toilet doors to the exquisite works of the likes of Banksy.

What is good and bad graffiti? I suppose it depends on what the person is trying to express or achieve by doing it. This popped up on wall opposite my work last week:
Who are we to argue? - Pond St, Sheffield
It's provoked a lot of discussion at my workplace, which I'm sure was the artist's intention. What exactly does he mean? I think there's more to this than meets the eye. I wish I was the arty-farty type who might be able to interpret it, maybe we should get Sister Wendy to have a look at it.

Well done Sheffield's Banksy



Friday, 16 April 2010

How's your Nana Nina Nannar?

The lovely Nina Nannar
If you're reading this Nina (as I'm sure all ITN journalists do!), then I apologise. This will probably display my childish sense of humour for all to see.

The English language is a wonderful thing, I'm not referencing Shakespeare or Wordsworth when I say that, I just like the quirkiness of our language and how funny some words are to me. I talked about Butt Hole Road the other day, so I thought I'd mention a few people whose names amuse me.

1. Nina Nannar - I love her name, it's my favourite name of all-time. I'm sure she's probably had a lot of stick for it over the years but I think it's great. I can't help but ask "How's your Nana, Nina Nannar?" when I hear her name. She's probably heard it a million times before but, much to the annoyance of Mrs Siggy, I can't help saying it.

2. Dr Catherine Hood - A rude one this one, but it always makes me laugh. I'm not going to explain it but saying that she presented a show called "A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex" should give you a good hint.

3. Robin Hood - Again this is connected to Catherine Hood. Whenever I hear the outlaw's name, I hear "Throbbin' Hood". Sorry, if that is going to spoil Prince of Thieves for you now!

4. McManus - Just the surname this time, as it applies to all McManuses around the world. This one makes me smile when I see it written down. All I see is McAnus.

5. Arthur - Finally, a christian name that amuses me. Arthur or Arfur makes me chuckle. I always imagine that Arfur Bitter would be a great character in Coronation St.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

I Love Butt Hole....Road that is.

I had my semi-annual (this is becoming a running theme now!) appointment at Montagu hospital in Mexborough yesterday. It was just a check up for my Rheumatoid Arthritis and everything is pretty stable at the moment. The interesting thing about RA is that the treatment could actually jeopardise my PCD. RA is to do with the immune system attacking the body and causing damage to joints etc, so one way to control it is to suppress the the immune system. This obviously conflicts with the needs of my PCD treatment. Either way, I'm buggered!

Anyway, my trip to Montagu hospital used to involve a little treat along the way - a moment of titillation and the inspiration for this blog - Butt Hole Road. Conisbrough, a small town near Doncaster, South Yorkshire, is famous for two things: a the 12th century Conisbrough Castle and Butt Hole Road. That was until the miserable twats who lived there got together to change the name of the road last year to Archers Way.
Butt Hole Road as taken from my car*
So what was a moment of enjoyment has now turned into a moment of anger. It pisses me off every time I drive past, that these miserable people changed the name of this beloved quirky little insignificant street just for their own needs. There's nothing special about the road just a few non-descript houses, bungalows and miserable residents. They were fed up of American tour buses driving past and tourists taking pictures of the sign. Oh poor you, imagine living somewhere that provides so many people with little smiles and a bit of harmless fun. So what, if the odd student would make a pilgrimage to your part of the world to bear their arse in front of the infamous street sign. So what, if it caused you a little embarrassment when ordering a pizza. 

Me, I'd be proud to call Butt Hole Road my home, I'd love to be a Buttholian. I'd announce it with pride and if someone might laugh, then I'd laugh with them. But you Buttholians, you have become the laughing stock of the world, the little people from the little road without a sense of humour. The irony is that you have wiped out half of Conisbrough's tourist attractions, but you decided to cash in on its remaining attraction by calling it Archers Way. Am I being too cynical here? Why didn't you call it Miserable Way? I think that would be far more apt, in fact it should have been re-named Buttholes Road.

There is a campaign on facebook to change it back, not that these things make a difference but it's just a bit of fun.

*This picture has been pinched by several websites and news organisations. I don't mind anyone using it but at least give me a credit.


Monday, 12 April 2010

World Cup Fever Has Arrived

Panini World Cup 2010
So World Cup fever has finally started for me. This quadrennial event (remember from my previous blog?) always starts for me with the release of the official Panini World Cup sticker album. It gets bigger and bigger each time and this World Cup is no exception with over 600 stickers.

It's a pricey hobby though, so I can't see how kids can afford it these days. There are only 5 stickers in a packet now and they cost 50p per packet. Given that you'd need 125 packets that's £62.50 not even taking into account swaps. I think I'm going to take the grown up approach - I'm not sure if grown-up is the right term in this instance - and buy 2 boxes of 100 packets. That should give me leeway for swaps. I can always flog any unused packets on eBay. Luckily, I've found this website that sells them at £35 a box plus postage. It should work out at about 40p a packet.

You get 21 stickers with the album and I've already got my first swap; how crap is that? You always get a player that you get loads of swaps for, in 1986 it was Hugo Sanchez, he was the bane of my 10 year old life. I hope the legendary Javier Mascherano isn't going to be this tournament's Hugo Sanchez.

Liverpool Legend - 1st Swap
So if anyone wants to do some swaps, get your stickers ready and drop me an email at stickers@pietv.co.uk. We also do our swaps the grown up way with Excel spreadsheets instead of bulging pockets of dog-eared stickers.

Even Little Siggy is getting onboard with the World Cup, he has the official Adidas Jabulani FIFA 2010 World Cup ball. It's a pretty cool ball and it is supposed to be the most technologically advanced ball yet. I must admit that I'm probably playing with it more than Little Siggy but I let him have a kick now and then!

Little Siggy's Adidas Jabulani World Cup Ball size 1
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